Friday, May 22, 2009
Matching
So its possible I have matched again . . . I am tentatively optimistic. They were here last night with the agency and seem really nice. They live close to me and want to come to every appointment, so that's a super plus for me. They have one daughter through surrogacy already, but their last journey did not end well, with the surrogate wanting to keep the child. She had my same name . . . which is weird! LOL Anyway, I told them I wouldn't carry triplets, so they're just confirming that they are okay with that, then will get back to me. I still have to take my MMPI . . . other than that am ready to go. :) Here's hoping.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Update
So I haven't been on here in forever, because things got really discouraging, and I didn't feel like writing about it. Basically I got all my tests done, and them my PIM started not returning my calls on a consistent basis. And then she wanted to meet and discuss the contract at Dunkin Donuts, even though I told her this made me uncomfortable. We met, and she mentioned she didn't want to be in the room for the birth of the baby, b/c it wasn't her egg. At this point I freaked out, and 4 days later ended it. So the search began again.
Although NCCRM approved me with no problems, other clinics began to have serious issues with my pregnancy history. Rejection hurts, let me tell ya.
So now I have a couple I mostly like on back burner, and am waiting to hear from Carolina Conceptions about a local couple . . . and that's where I am. I was unbelievably naive to think I could be pregnant by summer's end. Maybe by year's end . . urgh. So frustrating.
Although NCCRM approved me with no problems, other clinics began to have serious issues with my pregnancy history. Rejection hurts, let me tell ya.
So now I have a couple I mostly like on back burner, and am waiting to hear from Carolina Conceptions about a local couple . . . and that's where I am. I was unbelievably naive to think I could be pregnant by summer's end. Maybe by year's end . . urgh. So frustrating.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Uterine Saline Test
Well, today I had my last test. I am officially cleared to be a surrogate. Yeah! What a LONG process . . . and we haven't even started cycling yet, which I'm sure will be long as well. The doctor was very off hand, just "oh, you're all set." So now IM and I just need to sit down and make sure we have the contract ready, then on to lining up with the egg donor. With NCCRM, that will probably take a long time . . . like everything there does. On to more waiting. :)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
IVF Class
My IM and I took IVF class yesterday at the center. Basically it was a class on all the medications I'll be taking and how the transfer will work. Whew. It's a really long process, or it seems so to me. With my two pregnancies it happened so quickly, and this will take so long, it seems weird. But that's the way it goes . . . the nurse did make it all seem very clear and easy to follow. The amount of medications I'll have to keep track of is daunting, but I'm sure my husband will help me out, as well as my IM. It looks like it will be at least 2 months before I'm preggers, but as long as it happens by June/July I'll be happy. I just don't want another baby due in the summer! I found out I'll be on bed rest after the embryo transfer, so I had to work that out with my husband, but he was very flexible (as always!) so that was pretty easy to figure out. Now I just have to have my saline uterus test and we'll be ready to go.
I'm kind of nervous about negotiating the contract, most surrogates say that's the hardest part. I want to stand firm for what I want, and I find myself wanting to be generous and offer what I don't want to the IPs. My husband is not much help with this, since he feels we shouldn't really be charging money at all for an act that should be an act of kindness. I'm trying to find a middle ground to fall in, where its still kindness, but not something that will be so inconvenient to me I get frustrated. Childcare is the big issue I'm running into. How much do I hold the IPs responsible for? Sometimes I think I should be responsible for all of it, but then I think that's alot of doctor visits! *sigh* I'm kind of trying to back off from it, since we still have a test to get through. After the test maybe I'll be able to hammer out what I want more clearly.
A funny moment was the discussion of multiples. I don't want to carry multiples, but I don't feel nearly as strong about it as Lori does. She is very clear on only wanting ONE baby. LOL The center doesn't reduce past twins, and they want to implant more than one embryo, so she's arguing with policy a little. I have a feeling she'll get her way, she's very firm (not in a mean way, just in a not back down way).
So now its all a waiting game . . .ho hum ho hum
I'm kind of nervous about negotiating the contract, most surrogates say that's the hardest part. I want to stand firm for what I want, and I find myself wanting to be generous and offer what I don't want to the IPs. My husband is not much help with this, since he feels we shouldn't really be charging money at all for an act that should be an act of kindness. I'm trying to find a middle ground to fall in, where its still kindness, but not something that will be so inconvenient to me I get frustrated. Childcare is the big issue I'm running into. How much do I hold the IPs responsible for? Sometimes I think I should be responsible for all of it, but then I think that's alot of doctor visits! *sigh* I'm kind of trying to back off from it, since we still have a test to get through. After the test maybe I'll be able to hammer out what I want more clearly.
A funny moment was the discussion of multiples. I don't want to carry multiples, but I don't feel nearly as strong about it as Lori does. She is very clear on only wanting ONE baby. LOL The center doesn't reduce past twins, and they want to implant more than one embryo, so she's arguing with policy a little. I have a feeling she'll get her way, she's very firm (not in a mean way, just in a not back down way).
So now its all a waiting game . . .ho hum ho hum
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Psych Evaluation
Well, I went in for my psych. screening today. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was a breeze. I got to see NCCRM for the first time, that maybe was not as much a breeze. The receptionist was pretty rude. Lori warned me, so I wasn't exactly surprised. Rob and I got there at 11:05 and she didn't get us into to get blood work done before the 11:30 appointment. Afterwards the psychologist told her I was ready, but I still sat and waited in the waiting room. After a while I went up to ask again when I could have it drawn, and she said "Oh, you're ready now?" in this rude, put-upon tone. Like she had been waiting for me! Anyway, the bloodwork was an adventure all on its own. I'm not an easy stick and it took them 2 nurses and finally drawing out of my hand to get all the vials they needed. I guess there are a lot of STDs out there! It'll be fun going in for all the blood draws during the IVF. Eeek. At least once you get past the guardkeeper receptionist the rest of the staff is all very friendly.
The session itself was easy. I spotted the psychologist as soon as he walked in the office. Talk about a walking stereotype! LOL He was older, tall and skinny with this fly away gray hair - kind of einsteiny. He asked about me, our marriage (my husband Rob was there), our kids, our family, etc etc etc! It was so funny to sit there and be analyzed. I've never sat down and thought, well this is the way I am and its because . . . . He said I was stable now because of the adversity I lived through as a child. Umm, okay. He gave us tips for telling Erik about the pregnancy, which was nice, and told me the only life advice he had for me (only one?) was to not try to be a super mom, its okay to be less than perfect some of the time. Anyway, he was nice. It was a very short session, and Rob was ubersupportive, of course, and it went well. I'm all cleared now to be a surrogate! Yeah, me!
The next step is the IVF class on Monday, which I am really looking forward to. The whole thing is so confusing, I'm ready to have a the class rather than trying to piece it together from the internet.
The session itself was easy. I spotted the psychologist as soon as he walked in the office. Talk about a walking stereotype! LOL He was older, tall and skinny with this fly away gray hair - kind of einsteiny. He asked about me, our marriage (my husband Rob was there), our kids, our family, etc etc etc! It was so funny to sit there and be analyzed. I've never sat down and thought, well this is the way I am and its because . . . . He said I was stable now because of the adversity I lived through as a child. Umm, okay. He gave us tips for telling Erik about the pregnancy, which was nice, and told me the only life advice he had for me (only one?) was to not try to be a super mom, its okay to be less than perfect some of the time. Anyway, he was nice. It was a very short session, and Rob was ubersupportive, of course, and it went well. I'm all cleared now to be a surrogate! Yeah, me!
The next step is the IVF class on Monday, which I am really looking forward to. The whole thing is so confusing, I'm ready to have a the class rather than trying to piece it together from the internet.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Starting Out
Okay, so blogging is so popular now. Everyone has a blog, I thought I'd try it. At least for the surrogacy. Its a nice way to keep my thoughts in order, and remember how it all went.
I'm beginning my first journey as a surrogate. I'm 27, a stay at home mom of 2 beautiful children, Erik 3 and Morgan Grace 1. My husband (first and only) has always been a wonderful provider, so I decided to stay home with the kids when we got pregnant. We bought our first home last year, its very exciting being a home owner. We're very stable people, no excitement here, which is a good thing to us.
I decided when I was younger that I wanted to be a surrogate when the time was right. I knew a childless couple that struggled with infertility for many years, and I always felt that it was unfair that such a wonderful set of people couldn't have children, when so many people who don't even want children find it so easy to get pregnant. Now that I have two of my own, it seems like a good time to be a surrogate. I have good health insurance and feel ready to be pregnant again. (Every two years seems to be right for me.) Despite enjoying pregnancy, I really don't want any more children, so surrogacy here we come!
When I first started looking into it, I wasn't sure I would be chosen to be a surrogate. Both my children were born via c-section due to high blood pressure in my third trimester, and although they were both healthy happy babies, this disqualified me from many agencies. Also, my BMI is 30, which was another issue agencies had. I was kind of shocked when these things came up. I always thought there would be parents out there that wanted me, regardless of being a size 14. I mean, I've always been big, but I'm not huge and I happily carried my own children. Its a weird requirement. . . So I was ready to give up, but a couple of people I asked insisted I would be able to find a match, so I posted some ads on the typical sites and waited.
My ads went up Monday morning, by Monday evening I had over 20 replies. It was a lot to wade through. If a surrogate tells you she's been looking for a long time, be wary! She's either got a lot of tough requirements, is charging a ton, or is unsuitable. Finding a couple to work with is not hard at all if you're anywhere near stable and have a reasonable price in mind. I decided I wanted a local match, so that helped me choose. Some people were expecting me to work for close to free, so that cut it down further. After that I had it down to 2 couples, one about 3 miles from me and one in Charlotte, just a couple of hours from me. The couple closer just happened to respond quicker, and so I found my match!
I was so happy to have found Lori so quickly, and she's just so easy to talk to, I was very content. On to testing. Picking a match was quick. Working with a reproductive center takes much longer.
I'm beginning my first journey as a surrogate. I'm 27, a stay at home mom of 2 beautiful children, Erik 3 and Morgan Grace 1. My husband (first and only) has always been a wonderful provider, so I decided to stay home with the kids when we got pregnant. We bought our first home last year, its very exciting being a home owner. We're very stable people, no excitement here, which is a good thing to us.
I decided when I was younger that I wanted to be a surrogate when the time was right. I knew a childless couple that struggled with infertility for many years, and I always felt that it was unfair that such a wonderful set of people couldn't have children, when so many people who don't even want children find it so easy to get pregnant. Now that I have two of my own, it seems like a good time to be a surrogate. I have good health insurance and feel ready to be pregnant again. (Every two years seems to be right for me.) Despite enjoying pregnancy, I really don't want any more children, so surrogacy here we come!
When I first started looking into it, I wasn't sure I would be chosen to be a surrogate. Both my children were born via c-section due to high blood pressure in my third trimester, and although they were both healthy happy babies, this disqualified me from many agencies. Also, my BMI is 30, which was another issue agencies had. I was kind of shocked when these things came up. I always thought there would be parents out there that wanted me, regardless of being a size 14. I mean, I've always been big, but I'm not huge and I happily carried my own children. Its a weird requirement. . . So I was ready to give up, but a couple of people I asked insisted I would be able to find a match, so I posted some ads on the typical sites and waited.
My ads went up Monday morning, by Monday evening I had over 20 replies. It was a lot to wade through. If a surrogate tells you she's been looking for a long time, be wary! She's either got a lot of tough requirements, is charging a ton, or is unsuitable. Finding a couple to work with is not hard at all if you're anywhere near stable and have a reasonable price in mind. I decided I wanted a local match, so that helped me choose. Some people were expecting me to work for close to free, so that cut it down further. After that I had it down to 2 couples, one about 3 miles from me and one in Charlotte, just a couple of hours from me. The couple closer just happened to respond quicker, and so I found my match!
I was so happy to have found Lori so quickly, and she's just so easy to talk to, I was very content. On to testing. Picking a match was quick. Working with a reproductive center takes much longer.
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